venerdì 25 settembre 2026

"I Did Not Survive. I Just Refused To Stop."– When Culture and Religion Are Confused

 “I Did Not Survive. I Just Refused To Stop.” – When Culture and Religion Are Confused

The European Muslims League (EML) has reviewed I Did Not Survive. I Just Refused To Stop., a work by MissFit Writes, a Muslim author from the South Asian diaspora who addresses, through personal experience, reflection, poetry and social observation, themes related to faith, culture, identity, family and the experiences of women.

It is important from the outset to clarify the nature of the work. This book is not a text of Islamic theology, jurisprudence (fiqh) or religious instruction, nor does EML present the author as an Islamic scholar or religious authority. MissFit Writes herself, in responding to questions raised by EML during its review, clarified that her observations should primarily be understood as personal experiences and social reflections.

Islam and culture: a necessary distinction

It is particularly on one point that the book intersects with an issue to which the European Muslims League has long drawn attention: the need to distinguish what belongs to Islam from what derives from family traditions, social customs or cultural practices developed within particular communities.

In European public debate, EML has observed that certain behaviours found within some Muslim communities of immigrant background are sometimes automatically attributed to Islam.

Such an association is not always correct.

The fact that a particular practice exists within a Muslim family or community does not automatically make it an Islamic practice. Local traditions, family structures and social customs can become intertwined with religion to the point that they are sometimes perceived as religious obligations when their origins may instead be predominantly cultural.

This distinction becomes particularly important when discussing women.

Practices affecting women in certain family or cultural contexts are sometimes described in European debate simply as “Islamic”. Such generalisations risk both distorting the understanding of Islam and preventing serious examination of the actual social and cultural origins of harmful practices.

So-called “honour crimes” provide a particularly serious example. Young women may face coercion or violence — in extreme cases even death — because they reject a marriage imposed upon them or choose independently the person with whom they wish to build their lives. Such violence should not simply be presented as an expression of Islam. Violence committed in the name of family honour must be examined and opposed as violence, rather than being automatically attributed to the Islamic faith.

The same principle applies when family customs place women in a position of inferiority or deny them the possibility of freely expressing their consent in marriage. Not everything practised within a Muslim family can automatically be described as Islamic.

Another example concerns female genital mutilation (FGM), which is sometimes generically associated with Islam in public debate. These are traditional practices historically found in particular geographical and cultural contexts and among communities belonging to different religious traditions. They therefore cannot be presented as a general characteristic of Islam or Muslims.

The European Muslims League unequivocally condemns female genital mutilation and considers it essential to distinguish this harmful practice from the principles of the Islamic faith.

It is precisely in this distinction between Islam and culture that EML identifies one of the most relevant aspects of the testimony contained in the book.

Women, family and belonging

MissFit Writes describes her experience within an environment in which religion, family expectations, social conventions and cultural traditions can overlap.

The book addresses marriage, divorce, the role of women, family, community belonging and expectations connected with honour and social reputation.

An important question consequently emerges: when a particular rule is transmitted within a family or community as “religious”, does it actually derive from religion, or has a cultural convention acquired religious significance over time?

EML considers this an important question. Properly distinguishing these two dimensions can both protect religion from incorrect attribution and allow communities to address social practices that deserve critical examination.

Sunni and Shia: the human cost of division

The book also addresses differences between Sunni and Shia Muslims.

When specifically asked by the European Muslims League about this aspect, the author clarified that her intention was neither to determine which religious interpretation is correct nor to enter into a theological dispute between the two traditions.

Instead, she seeks to describe through human experience what can happen when sectarian identity becomes more important than the person and begins to affect relationships, families and everyday life.

The European Muslims League considers dialogue and mutual respect among Muslims essential to counter division, hostility and sectarianism.

Where EML takes a different position

The European Muslims League nevertheless considers it necessary to distinguish the book’s discussion of culture from some of the author’s personal reflections concerning religion and her relationship with God.

Some expressions in the work reflect an individual journey and a highly personal way of experiencing and questioning faith. EML does not share certain critical observations or expressions made by the author when they concern the Islamic religion, its principles or the relationship between the believer and God.

Criticism of human behaviour, family customs or cultural traditions should not automatically become criticism of religion itself.

The author subsequently clarified to EML that she does not intend to propose theological or jurisprudential interpretations and that the book should be understood as the personal testimony of a Muslim woman seeking to make sense of her relationship with faith, culture, identity and community.

This clarification is important for a proper understanding of the work.

A testimony, not a religious text

I Did Not Survive. I Just Refused To Stop. should therefore be read for what it declares itself to be: a personal testimony.

It is not a guide to Islam and should not be regarded as a theological or jurisprudential reference.

Its contribution to the wider discussion can be found primarily in the question it raises about the distinction between faith and culture.

For the European Muslims League, this distinction is particularly important in the European context. Automatically attributing every behaviour of a Muslim individual or community to Islam means confusing religion with the many cultures, traditions and societies in which Muslims live throughout the world.

At the same time, distinguishing culture from religion does not mean ignoring problems that may exist within Muslim communities. On the contrary, it means identifying them correctly, addressing them responsibly and refusing to attribute to faith what may instead derive from human behaviour or cultural traditions.

It is on this specific ground that the testimony of MissFit Writes provides a useful opportunity for reflection.

Editorial note: Publication of this review does not constitute endorsement by the European Muslims League of all opinions, interpretations or expressions contained in the book. The author’s personal and religious reflections remain solely attributable to the author.

European Muslims League (EML)

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